Big Heart, Big Man, Big Loss
Was saddened today to hear the news of the death of Big Tom McBride. May he rest in peace. A long-time friend of my family – especially to my brother Gerard – it’s as if he was always there. He had a unique singing voice and the sound, especially the sound associated with his Mainliners and Travellers band, had a tone of its own. That, at least, will live on and I’m sure will get many spins in days, weeks, months and years to come.
Back in 2001 we had a festival down on the shores of Lough Gara. We called it “Flock to The Lough” and at a planning meeting I suggested we might ask Big Tom to come and perform there. A suggestion taken on board and a phonecall later, it was in train. He absolutely packed the place that night and the sound bouncing off the surface of Lough Gara is a lasting memory. It paved the way for a few more “Flock to The Loughs” but his willingness to come and play on the shores of a lake in a packed marquee, gave courage when it was needed. A happy memory!
His songs, typically country in many ways, told stories and some of them, in keeping with the genre, sad stories. He told them, through song, in a convincing way. The last time I heard him sing live was ironically in Templeronan Cemetery on the day my father, Bill, was buried. Tom and Rose were there. My brothers had a desire to fill in the grave and while it was being filled, we said the Rosary and the filling was still taking place when we finished. I looked over to Big Tom and asked if he’d sing something. He did. He sang “Where we’ll never grow old” and it’s a moment – as I think of it now – on the opposite shore of the same Lough Gara, that I will never forget.
The last time I saw him was in late January on the day his beloved Rose was laid to rest in the grounds of their local church. The big man was at a big loss that day and looked so sad and it wasn’t difficult to see him following her. I’ve seen that many times in life. It’s a sign of something running very deep and something very real. It is love. I had truly hoped to meet him again and the chance of that happening this month was very real. Alas, that’s not the case anymore.
“Don’t forget to give my love to Rose” was one of his songs. Made famous by Johnny Cash, I’ve no doubt for Tom it had a special meaning and his “Rose” was very real to him. May they both rest in the togetherness they lived – in peace and in love in God’s presence.
In the coming days, I’m sure many people will have and discuss their own memories of Big Tom and that’s the way we cope with loss. Jesus knew that when he asked his “disciples” on the Emmaus Road, “What matters are you discussing as you walk along?” He gave them the chance to talk, remember and come to a deeper truth. For Tom’s family, fans and countless friends, may that conversation and journey take place as well.
May he rest in peace. Amen.
